About Me
THE LIGHT SEEPS IN FROM THE CRACKED WINDOW
I made this blog as my own guide to my ever changing lifestyle. I decided to be a ketogenic since May 2017. I've heard a lot about Ketogenic diet before but I was thinking that It's just a fad diet like the others - but it was before I understand THE SCIENCE - about how our body works, what is Macro and Micro Nutrients, what is Ketones, Ketoacidosis, Kreb Cycle, Glycation, and so on.
I can say I was a gym freak. I can go to gym everyday, and hopping from class to class. Weekday and Weekend. Minimum 90 minutes. Sometimes I do double class. Jogging in the morning and Class in the evening.
I eat five times a day, because that's what the world said to me that I need to keep my belly busy working so that it will burn more calories (Now I know it's wrong). I do gym 1-2 hours everyday. I have to restrict my food intake to be lower than my calorie output. But every time I finish my exercise, I never felt satisfied with my food to replenish what's lost - say it's a smoothies, a bowl of salad, a super lean chicken breast steak, a jug of high protein shake, or any kind of 'healthy' food. I always wonder why some people can eat so little and they say they're full enough - or they just pretending? And still, whenever people ask me what have I done to my life to maintain my health, I can only answer : "Nothing, but pretty much everything."
But then I start to question my entire effort, and my own sense.
The next thing that happen in my life is when I have to submit myself to operating table due to appendicitis. After the surgery, doctor said I cannot do exercise for at least two months!!! For someone like me, exercise has become my sole hope for maintaining 'healthy' figure. I don't like diets. I give up so many times, I don't like being hungry. So I always add more weight or run longer in the gym rather than eating salads and chicken breast only. Not only the surgery makes me weaker, but also it pushes me to give up the thing I love the most - exercise. And without fail, I start to gain more and more weight, while at the same time I hate myself even more - and I binge and binge - but unfortunately I cannot throw it out because I was too afraid to mess my intestine even more. And these cycle of evil is keep rolling.
And finally, my turning point was : when someone dear to me said : "You are so ignorant person, you don't love yourself! How can you love others if you even cannot love yourself? Don't say you love someone if you cannot love yourself first!"
It was a very shocking words. This person, that means a lot to me, said something that for me was a contra. How come I don't love myself? I do those things because I love myself so much. I do exercise, I maintain my weight, I 'thought' ate healthy. While many girls my age was so obese and out of shape, I am still the same as my High School Figure. This person also said that now I changed. I'm sloppy, not looking fresh, messy looking, etc. While I was still wearing the same clothes as I first met this person years ago.
And my heart sunk so deep that it almost leads me to a more self-destruction mode.
But then, it was the time that the light came into my life from the cracked heart. I was so mad that I want to do revenge. I'm telling myself : "Fine. You said the words. I will make you regret it. I will be WAAAAAY better than you! Healthier, sexier, skinnier, prettier, and everything that will finally makes you ask me : what have you done to your life?"
After that moment, God shows me His sign. He answer my deepest prayer, a prayer that I cannot utter it into words but only tears, that I want to be better, in any kind of way, in any part of me.
I saw one of my friend was on Keto diet when she posted something about Keto-thingy on her socmed. I start to do research on Keto. Then I remember that Keto was a very hard diet to do because I have to give up sugar and carbs - which was my main diet staple. But then I decide, I will go with Keto. I want to choose the hardest way, the harshest way, the fastest way, the highest risk way. because I believe, diamond made under high heat and heavy pressure. If not, it will just turn into normal carbon rocks.
So then I stopped eating sugar and carbs from that second, AT ALL.
I didn't do trial days. I just stopped. No cheating whatsoever. And day by day I bury myself even deeper in the research and literature about Ketogenic diet. And day by day, I am more convinced that I have chosen the right path. I feel so blessed that I was taught all these knowledge about fat, carbs, ketone, cholesterol, etc. I know I start with wrong intention at heart - to revenge. But then I forgot about that already. Now my intention is to find a better way to live better, by a healthier pursuit.
But the journey was not all smooth. So many people that close to me against my decision to go Keto, because of the fact that Ketogenic Diet is fighting all the common perception and concept of 'healthy' in this world. Hey! Even the first scientist that saying that it is actually the earth that goes around the sun, and not vise versa, was end up in jail and dead in misery by those people who think they're RIGHT, and worse, they have the authority as the supreme human sitting in this world on behalf of God. So, is history going to repeat again?
I also find difficulties in finding a restaurant that serves a keto-friendly food. Having a certain diet nowadays is so common (say : kosher, vegetarian, gluten-free, nuts-free, etc), but being a Keto? Not that easy. It's because ketogenic diet is an old science that was covered by many fake truth and industrial campaign for business monopoly, and so now people forget the true science already.
My intention creating this blog is as my journal of my Keto journey. What food I could eat in some place, which restaurant, how to eat Keto, how to drink Keto, and many things that will make my life easier to record all my research. So in the future when there's many people start to choose Ketogenic Lifestyle as their life, they know what to do, what to eat, and where to go to find the food that will nourish their body 'correctly'.
One more thing, I enjoy my Ketogenic Lifestyle journey so much. So I hope people that choose to be in this same pursuit can find their happiness and joy as well - with the help of my blog.
I hope we all may be blessed with the light that shines, seeping through the cracks and the golden joinery of our own brokenness. May your journey ahead is a beautiful road full of true facts and findings that will never make you stop awe-ing God's sea of knowledge and miracles, and being grateful with all His blessing.
And may your bulletproof coffee is strong and full of fat!
Cheers~
Ingkan :)
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Notes : Share me your story about why and how you decide to be a Ketogenic! Or you are free to ask me anything~
